My wife Meghan and I follow many self defense blogs and are active in several self defense groups. In these forums there is always great discussion on how best to prepare women for violent situations. Because we emphasize self defense throughout our programs in our school and teach the Innocent Warriors women's self defense seminar series, it seemed reasonable to put some information and thoughts on women’s self defense out there for people who are interested in knowing more.
Though this has been changing for the better in recent years, women
throughout history have been raised to behave quietly, dress modestly, don’t go
out alone and stay away from strangers.
Put in our terms, avoidance training. So then it follows that they continue to be
preyed on by those who have been brought up learning offensive and defensive posturing,
violence and fighting. Men mostly. So then many adult women find themselves suppressed
by men and think taking a self defense class is going to help. Unfortunately,
being preyed upon will not stop because you learned a new way to hurt someone.
This prelude to violence can only be intercepted by going back and re-program yourself.
That is the main goal of Innocent Warriors.
Surprisingly there are a great many women in our society that wish
to maintain a more subservient attitude toward males. This is the real issue
with how we raise the female segment of our society. Because many parents must
buck centuries of tradition in raising a girl to be and act equal to men. Think about this sentence, “I just bought Bobbie a new 22 rifle and
we’re going to go out practice shooting today.” I’ll bet you that most
people that read that sentence automatically assumed that Bobbie is a boy.
There exists a deep, instinctive survival force within each of
us, both male and female, but as stated above the male has been allowed to feel
it, exercise and nurture it, while the females have been trained to suppress
it. A mother will run out into traffic to save her child without thought,
hesitation or fear of her own life because society accepts that natural
protection instinct. Yet a women’s own self-protection is viewed by many as
wrong or simply incapable.
Society makes such claims as;
·
Women
should be soft and cuddly and let men protect them
·
Women that
are tough are somehow less attractive
·
Women
don’t have the strength to really protect themselves against stronger males
Given I am married to a martial artist, (and anyone who knows Meghan
will tell you) it doesn’t have to be that way. To meet her on the street it
would not be obvious with her small frame that she could take down and submit a
much larger male(s) in a matter of seconds. She doesn’t need males to protect
her any more than other males do, she IS tough AND attractive all at the same
time and although in excellent physical condition, she’s still much smaller
than most male adversaries yet surprisingly effective against them.
I know that your first response to this may be that Meghan has
dedicated her life to martial arts, something not every woman can do. Though
she has spent 12+ years in the martial arts field, that is not totally why she
is effective. She is effective because she has trained her mind,
reprogramming it to be OK with violence and fighting. That’s not to say that she in any way
promotes violence, she does not. But there is a place inside each of us, men
and women alike that must be at peace with the reality that a violent situation
may at some point find us and being prepared mentally is the precursor to
getting out of it.
The fact is, violence, fighting and bad guys are all around
you, right this minute while you read this.
It’s not being paranoid walking through life with this assessment of
your surroundings. . You may be one of the lucky ones that manage to go through
their entire life avoiding violence, but from my experiences in self defense
you would be in a vast minority.
Go back to running out in the street to save your child for a
moment. If you would put your life on the line for your child, why shouldn’t
you think the same way about yourself? So here is some training you can do
right from your chair. Mentally plan for violence. Don’t worry about WHAT you
will do if someone were to attack you, rather think about being prepared to do
whatever you can with all of your life force to get yourself out of the
situation.
It has been my experience that women can be far more courageous
than most men and especially most bad guys. If bad guys started to get the
feeling that more women were prepared for an attack, there would be a whole lot
less bad guys, because unlike women, most of them cannot be that brave; their
motives are centered in selfishness only.
If you can look within yourself for that spirit and find it, you will
begin to carry yourself differently. You will stand tall and walk proud, be
more aware of your surroundings. Your senses will be heightened and you will
have an air of confidence and other people will notice that difference.
This latter point is very important because for the most part bad
guys prey on the meek. If you can deprogram yourself of your avoidance training
and mentally prepare yourself for conflict, chances are far better that you
will actually avoid it because the
bad guys will look for easier prey. Now then from this frame of mind can you
begin to investigate self defense and/or martial arts to learn WHAT to do if
you are attacked. Techniques that when wielded by a warrior spirit will be far
more effective than when attempted by someone who has been trained throughout
her life to submit.
Self Defense classes are not all the same, nor are the
instructors that teach them. Meghan is not only my wife but my friend and
training partner as well. Her perspective is uniquely female, her attitude
wonderfully positive and her force is not to be reckoned with. I cannot think
of a better person to guide you on your self-defense journey.
Be safe,
Dave Ventura,
3rd Dan
Hapkido Instructor
Co-Creator,
Innocent Warriors©
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